(An excerpt from “Romancing the Divine — The Art and Science of Falling in Love with God”)
This is a book of Romance, a book of sweet seductions, a book of loving arts, and divinely provocative images. But I cannot in conscience invite you into it without sharing an unblinking look at the opponents of Love, or we will come to grief.
I know a funny monk. The Reverend Mother of the order won’t let him give sermons, because everyone in the temple would just laugh all through the service, and no one would meditate (he was an actor before entering the monastery, and entertaining is in his blood, so he must not be blamed). And this monk who is so funny will often say a serious thing to you with a jolly face, trying to lift your spirits:
“Just remember – you’re swimming upstream!”
He says this, and then he laughs merrily, as if he’s explained it all for you.
As he has in fact. For when you seek this love we’ve spoken of, this love you can’t seem to live without, then you have dived into a vast river, and have turned upstream, determined to swim against the accumulated tributaries of the River of Life itself. Very nearly all of humanity swims the other way, drifting in the deep swift current, content to live and die in the spell of the Ten Thousand Things. All the world is a torrent heading away from Source, out into infinite manifestation, Spirit playfully tying itself to identification with Form. That the hidden goal of the vast game is to reach the moment you have reached (that moment when Love asserts Her primacy and begins to draw you back) - this is a secret that few know and fewer still want to hear. The derision of those adrift in the current is only one of the obstacles in your path.
For you have awakened from the spell, and have turned back to seek the Source of the river. You are brave to do this. Here are some of the opponents you will confront:
To Be Worthy of Love
“I think it is appropriate to tell you how I perceive myself before God, whom I behold as my King. I consider myself as the most wretched of men. I am full of faults, flaws, and weaknesses, and have committed all sorts of crimes against my King. In deep regret I confess all my wickedness to Him. I ask His forgiveness. I abandon myself in His hands that He may do what He pleases with me.”
- Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God
In this supposedly new age in which we dwell, unblinking introspection has a bad name. Consciousness of guilt and shame are to be shunned as psychological perils. And it is true – they are obstacles to love. Yet we see in the words above that one of the Divine’s simplest-hearted and most blissful lovers, an obscure monastery kitchen-worker in 17th century Paris, was acutely conscious of his failings, and daily surrendered them to his Beloved.
That was his secret. He saw himself as he was, and gave himself to God in simple love.
And the daily miracle of his joy sprang from the astounding fact that the Lover received and rewarded him with intimacies of indescribable sweetness:
My King is full of mercy and goodness. Far from chastising me, He embraces me with love. He makes me eat at His table. He serves me with His own hands and gives me the key to His treasures. He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways. And He treats me in all respects as His favorite. In this way I consider myself continually in His holy presence.
My most usual method is this simple attention, an affectionate regard for God to whom I find myself often attached with greater sweetness and delight than that of an infant at the mother's breast…I would call this state the bosom of God for the inexpressible sweetness which I taste and experience there. If, at any time, my thoughts wander from this state from necessity or infirmity, I am presently recalled by inward emotions so charming and delicious that I cannot find words to describe them.
We need not be perfect to begin to practice love. We need not be perfect to deserve a perfect love. The Lover has created a world in which the consequences of our errors will chase us into Her arms, where even the most wretched of us will someday we embraced as the favorite child of Her heart. It is such a mystery! The Lover has flung the World into being with the joyful shout of the Primal Explosion, and trapped us in the ever-expanding echoes of that shout<and yet there is always the secret whisper of Love calling us home.
Waywardness
To be sure, there are laws to the Lover’s world. Though the mystic’s grand romantic passion can be found as a common aspect of all the great religious paths, so too we will find in every one of them the guidelines, the moral foundations, the commandments, the namas and niyamas, the do’s and don’ts that are meant to safeguard the soul. If these are flouted, with no effort made at self-correction, we will find our path to the Lover blocked at every turn by the chaos we create in our lives.
I knew a young man who was entranced by the promise of bliss, of higher states of consciousness, of yogic powers. He threw himself with enthusiasm into the practice of meditation. After some progress, he found himself frustrated and distracted. It was his good fortune to have as his counseling monk our doubting friend, the former barber from Pittsburgh, who now lived a life of quiet bliss and service. It came to light that the young man was carrying on multiple affairs with various women. The monk advised him that this was the source of his difficulty, and that he must change his ways if he wished to progress in meditation.
“But, Brother!‛ the young man protested. ‚I want to be a yogi – not a saint!”
The monk smiled. “Good luck!” he said.
The Lover’s laws are simple after all. We all know them. They all spring from the golden guideline: treat others as you would be treated.
We need not be perfect – but the intimacy of this Love will remain elusive if we are not making every effort to bring our lives into alignment with truth.
And if our efforts are in vain? If, despite our longing for the Divine, we are mired in self-destructive habits over which we seem powerless?
Take some comfort here: if you are subject to addiction in some form, you are in good company, for many great lovers of Spirit found the Lover through the struggle to escape from this most formidable enemy of love.
Addiction
My guru was building a new temple in Los Angeles in the 1940s. He had a disciple who was a skilled carpenter, and the carpenter loved the Master very much. But the carpenter could not stop drinking. He was deeply ashamed of this, but his love overcame his shame. Drawn by his devotion, he came to the building site one day to help the Master – even though he was quite drunk<and soon he broke down weeping at his weakness.
But the Master consoled him. “Don’t try to be perfect first. Just keep meditating. Practice the meditation I have taught you, even if you have your beads in one hand and your bottle in the other. If you never give up, then one day your joy in God will overcome your bad habit, and you will be free.”
And so he did. And so he was.
Is it so simple? Yes, it is.
And if you do not have an illumined teacher nearby, then Spirit may come to you in the form of a sober friend guiding you to support and recovery. Or as a loved one who intervenes. Or in the meetings where those of all faiths or none seek help from a Higher Power.
Those who seek this love we speak of often become trapped by addiction, because we are seeking something transcendent, some substitute for the Lover, some heightening that provides escape from the source of pain. Whatever form it may have taken, that pain is, in its origin, rooted in the agony of separation from our source.
So whether you have sought release in alcohol, or drugs, or sex, or destructive relationships, and regardless of whether you are still consumed by shame and seemingly caught forever in the grip, do not ever believe that you are unworthy of the Lover.
It is simply a matter of believing that you are loved - and never giving up.
Distractions
Because you have chosen to swim upstream in search of Love, the world by its very nature will conspire against you. There is a science to Love as well as an art, and the Lover hovers over your practice of this science, waiting eagerly for the moment when your heart is clear and still and prepared for communion. But how can you prepare your heart for stillness, clarity, and the presence of the Lover in this world of chaos, distractions, duties, debts, family love and family labors, and the seemingly inescapable torrent of information and messages that technology has unleashed upon us?
This is not a world in which the art or the science of Love is easily practiced.
That is why in all times and places men and women have sought solitude and celibacy, simplicity and silence in spiritual communities where the search for the Divine may proceed undistracted.
But this is not a book for the celibate and the secluded. This is a book for those of us who have chosen to be in the world – and are yet longing for the intimate presence of Spirit - for those of us with family duties, and for those of us seeking human love as well as divine.
I can offer you no simple formula that will assure you of balance amid chaos. The multiplying complexities of our age are an insidious antagonist of this path. We are urged to seek simplicity in our lives – and this will help. Reduce our needs and wants – this too can bring serenity.
But I do not know of your challenges, burdens, griefs, and dangers, and words about the wisdom of simplicity may seem a pitiless jest when life presses hard upon you.
So I will only tell you what I know for certain: take the Lover’s hand. Even if you don’t yet believe it can be so, reach out in simplicity and ask for help. Whether in a garden or on the street, as you walk your ways make the silent gesture. Open your hand and place it in the hand of your Beloved who walks beside you. Make a habit of this. And you will find in time that amidst the chaos and stress there is a palpable Presence to comfort you, to guide you.
It may not come easily or soon, but if you persist, and if you call in simplicity from your heart, your Lover will respond – in a way you cannot deny, in a way that fills you with secret joy. What way the Lover will choose is for you to discover. Each romance with this Lover is unlike all others, and I will not presume to tell you how yours will unfold.
You must not give up - you are setting out to charm the Power that moves the galaxies! And as your faith in Love’s response grows strong, all the weapons of the enemies of Love will prove weak in the presence of the One who holds your hand.
blessings,
Michael